Friday, July 22, 2011

A Warning

  This is a warning to any young man who may want to date our daughters in the far-off future.  It is from Jacob, I will explain how it came about at the end.

    "Hello, son, it's nice to meet you.  I'm Jacob, the father.  I want you to know that if you attempt any physical contact with my daughter past a brief - and I mean very brief - handshake, I will arrest you.  I am the police and I can do that.  I will charge you with sexual assault.  You will be tried and found guilty.  You will be forced to add your name to a sexual offenders registry and post a sign in your front yard that says you are a sexual offender.  It will ruin your life and I will not care.  Remember, keep the handshake very brief.  Have fun at the middle school basketball game."

  Seriously, when Jacob was spitting this out, my stomach hurt I was laughing so hard.  Creek probably had no idea what was going on as he bounced around in my belly!!  This was the end of the conversation that started with me saying to Jacob, "Your haircut looks good."  What?!?! What was the train of thought that went from a haircut to a dating warning?

  Here it is: I asked Jacob if he was going to want Creek to have a short hair cut like his as a kid.  He said no, it didn't matter to him.  I asked what he would say if he wanted to grow his hair long when he was a teenager and, again, he said he didn't care - a haircut/style was not a battle worth picking (I agree!).  He said he would not have him coming in with his ears pierced all the way up and nose and eye brow rings.  Then I asked him what he would say if the girls wanted their belly buttons pierced and he said he didn't care.  Neither do I, I think they're cute...but then....

  That's when I said, "But the only time anyone would see it would be if they were wearing a bikini around some hormone driven boy!" in an almost panicked voice.  That is when Jacob calmly reminded me that it is not about controlling our children, but teaching them to make wise decision and to be obedient to God.  Wouldn't it be so much easier if it were about control, though? Just kidding, just kidding...

  I told Jacob he was right and he sat there in thought for a minute.  Then his eyes lit up - you know how they do when you have a really good idea - and that is when he issued his verbal warning. 

  Then we talked about how we should decorate the foyer of the house with multiple guns and that he should start a knife collection to display beside the guns...