Our Adoption Roadmap

Many times the adoption process is referred to as an adoption "journey". When I think of a journey, I think of a long experience, with high and lows, easy parts and hard parts...sometimes the path is clear and sometimes it's a little confusing. But always at the end of a journey, when you arrive at your destination...you look back on everything and compare it with what you have reached, where you have come...and you know that it was all worth it. Every mountain you had to climb, every valley you had to walk through...it never stopped you from getting you to where you are. It will not stop me from getting to my son. I think the word "journey" is perfect for describing the adoption process. Here is our little roadmap for the journey that we will be on for the next 18-24 months...

Social Worker assigned - welcome call   DONE

Turn in agency contracts and first agency payment   DONE

Orientation   DONE

Home Study: (approximately 3 - 4 months to complete) DONE
  -  Colombia specialist orientation  DONE
  -  Joint interview and home tour DONE
  -  Individual interviews with social worker DONE
  -  Joint interview DONE
  -  Education DONE
  -  Acquire a lengthy list of documents for the home study DONE

Immigration - 800A (approximately 90 days to complete); This is the process for applying for immigration  after the homestudy is finalized; once submitted:
    -  assigned adjudicator: 

2 weeks DONE
    -  4 - 6 weeks: receive letter with         fingerprint appointment and 

location DONE
    -  6 - 8 weeks: fingerprint 

appointment DONE
    -  8 - 12 weeks: receive approval

Dossier (approximately 3 months to complete); this includes the homestudy, immigration approval, a  lengthy list of documents such as birth certificates, social security cards, etc,, and our psychological evaluation DONE
    - Submit dossier to Colombia representative for review and translation (approximately 2 - 4 weeks) 
    - Submit dossier to Colombia central authority for review and approval to adopt (approximately 3 - 4 months)...this is where we will be approved by Colombia to adopt a child, once we receive this       approval, we are will start the "waiting" time

Receive Referral: (approximately 6 - 9 month wait time, but we're on God's timeline)
   - Be referred/matched with a child through a private orphanage, Colombia's central authority, or a waiting child through our agency.

Immigration Approval - 800 (approximately 1 - 2 months after receiving match with a child); this is immigration's approval for us to adopt a specific child
   - Apply for 800 = wait for provisional approval (average 30 days)
   - After approval from USCIS, wait for the US Embassy in Colombia to issue full approval for travel to Colombia (will travel approximately 1 - 2 weeks after receiving approval)

Travel to Colombia (approximately 4 - 7 weeks spent in country)
   - Spend 10 day bonding period with child
   - Appear in court for adoption finalization
   - Wait for US Embassy to issue our child his visa to return to the United States
   - He will be a US citizen the very second the plane touches the ground

   So, there you have it.  Our road map, to do list, checklist, whatever you want to call...it's everything we have to do in order to bring our son home.  These next 6 - 9 months will be filled with paper work and more paper work, getting the right documents to the right people. So if you see me a little frazzled and my fingers are covered with band-aids from multiple paper cuts...it probably means I could use a hug :)  After finally completing the necessary paperwork...we wait.  The average time right now is 6 - 9 months, but it could be shorter...it could be longer.  And so during the "wait time", if you see me looking a little teary eyed or maybe a little like a piece of my heart is missing...it's because it is and I could definitely use a hug :)

A Stroll Down Memory Lane With AB

We celebrated Anna Beth's 5th birthday this weekend.  It's really hard to believe that she is already 5.  I love the little girl she is growing into and I pray for the young woman she will one day become.  She is such a loving little girl and this great big ole servant's heart.  I pray she uses that love and heart of service for Jesus with everything in her.  I love you, AB, and - as always - I love being your mommy.

May 25.....

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012 

2013

First Day...Last Day

The girls grew so much from their first days of pre-K and Mother's Day Out in August to their last days this week in May.

Dear Time,

I need you to stop...I am not in support of how quickly you pass.

Sincerely,
A mommy of growing girls

A Small Bump in the Road

Some very good friends of ours recently told us that they had started the journey to adopt a daughter from China..."ecstatic for them" would be an understatement! Anyway, I was just texting with her and I shared a verse with her that has helped me a lot so far, "I know whom I have believed and I'm persuaded that He is able to keep that which I entrust to Him for that day." 2 Timothy 1:12.  I told her to trust God with this whole process, the ups and the inevitable downs.  As soon as I pushed "send"...it hit me.  There's a piece of this journey that I've not fully trusted God with.

On Wednesday of this week, we found out that the director of ICBF (the Colombian government office over  adoptions) had resigned.  I told my husband that I wasn't freaking out and that I wouldn't freak out...but he knows me a little bit better than that.  His exact words were, "Misti, God didn't have to get on Facebook this morning to know this was gonna happen.  Remember He's the one who brought us to this...He's got it."  I seriously love that man.

So, what's this little resignation mean for us? I have no idea! Most likely, it won't mean anything but some general delays as they transition to a new director.  Our social worker was very upfront with us (and I'm actually waiting on an email from her going into further detail), but she said it could also depend on who the new director is that they bring in.  One awesome, God-thing, though, is that Raul (the adoption attorney/coordinator for our agency who lives in Colombia) will actually be in Bogota (the capital) for meetings next week and will be able to sit down and get some first hand information.  

Some very good things could also come from this...like a faster and more efficient process from Colombia's end of things!  My biggest prayer is that whatever changes are made, that they would be in the absolute best interest for the hundreds of thousands of orphans in Colombia.  We're also praying that the solution to this would come quickly, but also with wisdom and that the right person would be put in the Director's position.

Would you join us in this prayer?  And join us in trusting God with whatever is in your life?

Have a fabulous day!

Cultural Education 101 - Fail

   Last weekend, we were with a family who had adopted a little boy from Uganda a couple of years ago.  The precious little boy and AB played together for a long time at a mutual friend's birthday party. Later that night, as I was tucking AB into bed, she had some pretty serious questions on her mind.  She had noticed that her new friend had a different skin color than his brothers did and she wanted to know if her little brother's skin would match hers.  I told her I didn't know, but his skin might be a different color than ours. It completely melted my heart to hear her say, "Well, mommy, skin doesn't have to match to be a family.  I don't care what color his skin is...he's my baby brother!" So thankful that she gets it :)
   Later that same week, we took a trip to the library where I decided it would be a great idea to get some books on Colombia and do some cultural education with them.  I found 3 books full of pictures of the country, the major cities, the food, the coffee, the people.  I couldn't wait to get home and look at the books with them and show them about the country where their baby brother will be from.  I told the girls on the way home exactly why I'd gotten the book.  AB was excited to see what the people look like, so she could start to get some sort of visual for what her baby brother might look like. I have to admit that I, too, found myself staring at the pictures of the kiddos playing and eating throughout the books and dreaming about my little boy - wondering if he would enjoy some of the same activities as the kids in the book....like playing soccer and climbing trees.
  As soon as we got home from the library, it was time for lunch. Past time, actually, and I was starving.  I sat the books on the counter and started making sandwiches.  What I did not notice while slaving over the stove slapping the soy butter onto the bread was that AB had gotten one of the books and began looking through it on the couch.  Suddenly, I hear her scream, "Mommy!!!!!" I look up to beautiful, wide, terrified, oh-my-goodness-what-are-we-doing eyes.  I start to get heart palpitations wondering what in the world is wrong and I run to her side.  As she turns the book to me, she tearfully exclaims, "Is THIS what he's gonna look like?!"  And shows me this picture...

   ...of a scary-looking gold statue-thingy. Poor girl.  Thankfully she was not traumatized at all and smiled really big when I turned a few pages over and found some kiddos playing soccer in a field.  Lesson learned: when doing cultural education with your small kiddos...preview the learning material and supervise as their soaking it in!!

You're Invited to Dinner...

   Our fabulous "One More Home" cookbooks are here! We had 590 recipes submitted by family and friends - and, y'all - they are delicious! Nutella bread pudding, crawfish bread, potato soup, gumbo...just to name a few! I can't wait to eat cook my way through it!!  They are $20, plus $3 if we need to mail it to you.  Here's how to order:

1. Click on our "Donate" button at the top and enter "Cookbook" in the "comments" section.  Make sure your mailing address is correct if we need to mail it.

2. Leave me a comment on this post  and a way to contact you about payment and where to mail it, if needed.

3. Leave me a comment on my Facebook post and I'll message you to get payment and mailing info.

4. E-mail me at jmalcoleman@gmail.com with your size and I'll reply to get your payment and mailing info.

5. You can also let me know if you see me at church, work, or around town!

   

   They'll be ready the early part of next week for anyone in the Martin area or for those of you who need it mailed.  If you're in the Slidell area with us, my parents will be down for a visit next weekend and will bring them down for us to hand out.

   Let me tell you a little about the creator and organizer of this cookbook - my mom.  She came to me with this idea not long after we mailed our initial adoption application to our agency.  I thought it was a great idea and was completely ecstatic! For several weeks you guys gave us recipes of all kinds...can I tell you how hungry it made me to read over them before sending them on to her? Wow!! I could NOT wait! For several weeks, my mom spent a couple hours each night - after working all day - putting the recipes into the correct format, retyping them if necessary, alphabetical order, categorizing them, creating the index...oh my goodness...so much work.  My dad got in on the fun, too!

   She pre-ordered 50 cookbooks...all of which SOLD pretty much hot off the press :) So, now, we're taking orders for more!! This has been awesome for our family....but not just in the financial/fundraising aspect. To watch my mom and dad work hard on this for us...who am I kidding, for their GRANDSON!!...is just purely awesome.  I really can't thank them enough...love you guys!

   And a HUGE thanks to everyone who submitted recipes for this cookbook!!!

Our Home Was DEFINITELY Studied

Wow.  Just wow.  My brain is still in a bit of a "verge of explosion" fog.  I've seriously had trouble focusing these past few days during our home study.  Everything went great.  We won't have the official write-up and home study approval until mid-June, but since she let us keep the kids we already have, I take that as a good sign :) But seriously,I had no idea it was going to be this intense on my brain!  Let me back up a little bit...

Before Jacob and I moved to Louisiana, I was a social worker for the State of Tennessee as a child abuse investigator.  As part of my job, sometimes it was necessary to remove children from the care of their biological parents.  When this happened, every attempt was made to find a relative placement to prevent them from coming into state custody.  In these situations, I had to do a very basic home study, making sure there were no immediate threats.  This was usually accomplished pretty quickly...a simple background check from the sheriff's office, a walk through of the house making sure there were no firearms loaded and sitting out on the coffee table or live wires hanging from the walls.  The best home study ever was when I did one for the cab of an 18 wheeler.  Yes, you read that right....the cab and bed area of a semi-truck.  Whatever...

Back to this week...our home study was much more intense.  It was not quick.  There was a home inspection and hours upon hours of talking about lots of things.

At the beginning of the week, I just knew I was going to scrub the baseboards, tops of ceiling fans, reorganize the food pantry (hiding the canned foods and stocking up on organic veggies), and collect all of the dust bunnies under the couch.  None of these things happened.  In the end because of being exhausted, a little wired from too much coffee, and mostly realizing that she wanted to see the home our son will live in...not a house on display...I cleaned it just like I do every other week.  There was still a load of laundry that needed to be put away when she knocked our door - but they were folded :)

The home inspection went well.  She flushed our toilets, turned on our water, looked in our cabinets (to make sure there were no cleaning supplies within a child's reach), looked in the fridge and pantry, and checked out all the bedrooms.  I was really glad I hadn't wasted time getting the dust bunnies under the couch because she didn't even look there!

That was only a tidbit of the study, though.  We mostly talked.  Our  home study social worker, Ashley, is awesome.  Truly great.  I mean the, she-sat-down-and-had-popcorn-and-lemonade-with-my-kids kind of great. She basically wanted to know every tiny detail of our life story, what our relationships were like with our family and friends, and our parenting styles. She laughed with us and she cried with me.  I talked her head off and she listened.  She knew where we were coming from as parents and why we were taking our family in the direction of adoption.  She helped us work through and prepare a little for some issues we may face down the road, after our adoption is complete.  She even gave me a gentle, understanding smile when one of my adorable children had a meltdown in front of her and laughed because I hadn't gotten around to sweeping up the massive amount of Cheerios one precious little boy (who shall remain nameless) had scattered all over the floor during breakfast as they crunched under cute shoes.

I admit, though, that I had worried and stressed leading up to this.  Not because we had anything to hide or because I didn't think we'd do well on it, but because I have this problem called "control".  And I like to be in it.  When something is out of my hands, it drives me nuts.  I'm working on, though, y'all...slowly, but surely.  We're actually doing a study in our Sunday school class right now...Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  Have you read it? It will speak to the very core of your being as it teaches you about the awesomeness of our God.  Go get it, please :)  Anyway, earlier this week, one quote (talking about stress and worry) really stuck out to me as I was reading in preparation for Sunday:

          "Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.  Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional."

Wow.  Yep.  That pretty much summed it up for me.  Why was I worrying - beyond the answer of "we have nothing to hide"? I do not have to worry! I do not have to stress!! As I sat down for a minute of silence just before she arrived for our Friday morning interview, I read this verse from Colossians 1:17, "He (God) is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

So, again, why was I worried and stressed about our home study when it was God who led us to have our home studied?  God is control of this.  He is holding this whole adoption journey together - dust bunnies under my couch and all.  It is for His glory that He has brought my family to this place.  It is God who is doing all of these great things.  It's a long, hard, tedious journey but God is going before us every single step of the way.  He's never asked me to do something and then left me on my own to figure it out.  Why did I worry so much over this?

My brain may still be a little foggy and trying to sort through just exactly what all Ashley talked to us about, but I'm not worried about it.  I know we'll pass with an A+ and the rest of our process will be completed and some day, I will tuck my little boy into his bed in our home.