Monday, May 21, 2012

The Battle: Part 3

Part 1
Part 2

  I left off in Part 2 talking about the medication that my doctor prescribed for me.  The medicine really did and still does help.  A lot.  When we were all sick with the stomach bug last week, I couldn't take it because I couldn't keep it down and then with all the craziness, I forgot two other nights.  By the third night that I had not taken it, I could feel the ball of weight starting to pull me down again.  In a way, it was frustrating in and of itself because I had hoped that I was getting ready to be off of this medicine  But it did answer the question of, "Is it time?" for me, so that was good.
  There was another huge factor in seeing me through those first really hard weeks - God, Jacob, and my friends.  Jacob has been amazing through all of this.  He has been so very supportive and patient, asking me how I am feeling and listening while I talk, picking up the slack when I've had bad days - on top of everything else he does around here and at work.  I absolutely could not have gone through this without him.
  God also perfectly lined up some super-amazing, Christian friends who walked with me every single step.  I only told a few friends what was going on.  I knew that I needed the support.  I knew that I needed people I could call in the middle of a really bad day, who would offer me nothing but love and encouragement.  And free childcare if I needed it. 
  In those first few weeks, each friend that I shared my battle with called or texted me every day.  I knew that when they said, "How are you doing?" - they wanted my real answer.  I was so thankful to be able to give it to them without fear of judgment or harsh words.  As my medicine began to help and after I had met with Lea a couple of times, I was slowly starting to feel better and my friends could tell.  It was great to be able to have regular, girl-talk conversations again.
  But in true fashion of God's great love for me (and for all of us!), every morning that I woke up feeling bad or every day that left me feeling worse as they day went least one of them called, texted, or showed up with a Starbucks just to check on me, to really ask how I was, to tell me I had been on their heart that morning and they had prayed for me.  Y'all, that's no "coincidence".  That is God intervening on my behalf, putting in place exactly what He knew I needed that moment of that day.  Every time. 
  From the moment that I finally stopped believing the "you're weak" lies and everything and said out loud what I was going through to Jacob, I never spent a hard or even semi-hard day alone, without love, encouragement, and support from my husband and friends.  Even on the darkest and deepest days, I did not feel alone for a second.  I knew in my head and my heart that God was with me through all of this - because that is what He promises me (and all of us!) in His Word.  Every single day I felt His presence with me.  Every single day that I needed that call, text, or hug...He gave it to me through Jacob and my friends. 
  Every day.  I was never...ever...alone in this.

Part 4


  1. Girl, thanks so much for sharing this. I may be seeking your encouragement soon as we got some unexpected news that we are having our third. We know this is a blessing but I am terrified to have three that are three and under :)

  2. Thanks for being so honest Misti! I have full confidence that God will use your vulnerability to speak to the hearts of other women experiencing something similar or like me, just a man or woman who could always use a reminder of God's faithfulness and love! Praying for continued healing and joy!