Nope. Not one little bit. There have been times when I thought I did. But I really don't. Why? Because it's not who I am anymore. I am not just "Misti". I am Misti "Coleman" - wife - and I am "Mommy". That is who I am. That is my identity. I've often wondered if I really did miss the single days, but now I have my answer. How did I come to this conclusion? Because for the last 3 days my identity has been in Tennessee.
There was a death in Jacob's family earlier last week, prompting a last minute trip to Tennessee. Now, since I am so close to D-Day, Jacob and I decided it would not be the best idea for me to travel to Tennessee right now. Can you imagine how much MORE swollen my feet and ankles would have been after 8 hours in the car up there and 8 hours back? I probably would've had permanent cankles...and I shutter at the thought! But Jacob needed and wanted to be there with his family. However, he didn't feel comfortable - nor did I - about leaving me here alone with the girls, just in case I did go into labor (which was highly unlikely). And he wanted me to have a "break" and to be able to get some "rest". So, he and the girls left Sunday night about 8 and arrived at his parents house in Tennessee at 3 am. They were able to spend all day Monday and Tuesday with his parents and both sets of grandparents and they are headed back today. I am grateful that he and the girls have had this time with his family - I just wish it could have happened under different circumstances.
Anyway, I've tried to make the most of my few days alone. I got some things done around the house, bought the last few things I needed for Creek's arrival, ate lunch with a friend, went to a movie with another friend (to see The Help - have you seen it? No? Go NOW and watch it. Truly, awesome, amazing movie!), did some birthday shopping for Lynnsie, and watched some TV.
I did a lot of these things (except for the lunch and movie date!) because they needed to be done and I had the "time", but I was also bored and wanted to get out of my way-too-quiet house. We don't usually have the TV on in our house when the girls are up, yet it's been the first thing I've turned on the past 3 mornings to try to drown out the quiet!!
I did appreciate Jacob's thoughtfulness of taking the girl's, too, and giving me a break. I've had the "single life" back for a few days, but I seriously don't miss it. Because when you miss something, you long to have it back...like right now, I miss my husband and kids and I can't wait to have them back...but I don't want my single life back. Nope, not one little bit!