100 Pesos

Last spring, our church's preschool department did a "Make Change for Orphans" campaign.  Our preschoolers decorated old coffee cans and set them all over our church for 8 weeks and asked our church family to bring all of their spare change from the week and drop it in.  One Sunday, we gathered up a couple of our older preschoolers and we went to each Sunday School class and passed the cans around - explaining that there over 150 million orphans around the world, over 100,000 children in America waiting to be adopted, and that all of the spare change they were dropping into the decorated cans were going to a ministry called Show Hope and they would help families adopt these children.  It was so precious taking them around to collect spare change - and dollar bills - from our church family.

One of my most favorite parts of this campaign was counting the money.  I've always loved to count money.  I have a system and I'm usually right on target after counting it several times.  I don't mind the way my hands are all grimy feeling after I'm done and I don't worry about where every single finger has been that has touched every single piece of money that I'm counting...although I do a thorough hand-washing when I'm done.  But this isn't why this was my favorite part of this campaign.  Maybe my favorite part was a little selfish...but here goes.

The first part of counting money for me (and probably most people) is to sort out each coin into piles.  I always, always, ALWAYS look for simple things my kids can do so they can be a part of whatever I'm doing.  Taking a meal to someone - they can stir in an ingredient; cooking for a sick friend - help me decide on the menu and deliver it; collecting items for someone in need - they pick some out, too, and help deliver them.  For this project of counting this huge pile of money - AB got to help sort out the coins with me.

During the weeks leading up to counting all of the change, I had been in a hard place with our adoption.  It was still several months before we would start the process, but we had settled on Colombia earlier that year.  During these weeks, I was doubting it whether or not Colombia was where our son was.  I prayed and prayed and waited for God to confirm that our hearts were set on the right country and that they were aligned with His plans for our family.

I've mentioned before that one of my favorite things about being a mommy is when God uses our children to speak to me....through simple acts or words they say, songs they sing, questions they ask...any of the ways that He uses them. While AB was sorting out a small pile of coins that I gave her, she held up one coin and said, "This one's different mommy.  What is it?"

My heart nearly burst with joy and tears flooded my eyes as I looked and saw this...

A Colombian coin.  Right there at my kitchen table - in my daughter's curious little fingers, sitting among over $600 worth of change given to this campaign by First Baptist Church of Slidell, was God's clear answer to my prayer.  Even as AB and I sat there sorting and counting money, talking about who knows what - my heart and mind were on Colombia and asking God if we were on the right path.  I took this as a clear "YES!!" from Him.  And it was so gloriously sweet.

In my last post I told you we might have to switch countries due to some recent changes in Colombia's adoption program.  We still don't know if we will, at some point, have to change countries.  But as Jacob and I were talking about it this weekend - he reminded me of this coin.  He reminded me that God spoke and affirmed just what we'd asked Him.  Jacob feels so strongly that Colombia is where God has led us.  I don't disagree with him by any means...my problem is the fear - what if we turn everything in and they tell us "no" and then we have to switch countries; what if they tell us "yes" but the wait is going to be so much longer than we anticipated; what if they tell us "yes" and God tells us to open our hearts to an adoption that we never dreamed we'd be open to?

But what if we say no, when God has confirmed in so many ways that we are on His path?

What if we ignore Him and miss out on pivotal moments in our lives that would only strengthen our faith and dependence on Him?

What if we ran away and tried to take control and just made a big 'ole mess of things?

Those are not chances we are willing - or want - to take.

We want to stay with Him.

We will stay in Colombia unless they kick us out and say "We don't want you!".  And if that happens, we will trust.  We will know.  We will remember who He is and what He loves and what He does.  

I recorded this in my journal today:

""Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you, therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.  for the LORD is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for Him." Isaiah 30:18

God wants to bring justice and compassion to the orphan - to my son. He has called us to Him and He is directing us to our son.  We will wait for Him in the uncertainty, remembering that He is the great I AM."

So with 100 Pesos in our hands, our son in our hearts, and our eyes on Him...we will continue with Colombia in our journey to bring our son home.

Which Road to Follow

Friends, adoption has a beautiful ending...one family, one child, finally together forever.

But it has an ugly beginning and a hard journey.

Today, I'm going to fill you in on one of the hard parts of our journey.

In a recent post, I was so excited to tell you that our family was being actively advocated for with the Colombian adoption people.  I was on cloud 1,009!  It didn't mean our process would speed up, but it did mean an active search was being made to match us with our son.

And then we got other news...

In the spring, I told you about the director of adoptions for Colombia resigned and it could possibly mean some changes in the adoption process.  Hear me on this, please...any changes that are going to make the process better, more efficient, and quicker for these children deserves a hallelujah in my book.  But sometimes that can mean it won't be the best for our family.

Since the resignation of the director, a few changes have occurred...the most recent affecting our family.

Colombia initially said they were only going to allow international families to adopt children who had special characteristics: older children, sibling groups, or children with medical needs.  No big deal as we are open to medical needs that our family can take on...more on that later.

Well, now they've said they are going to focus (with international families) on the 11,000+ children on their waiting list who are available for adoption at this very minute.  It's crazy ridiculous that there are that many children ready and waiting...just waiting.  How does this affect our family?

The children on these list are the ones that are very hard to place...sibling groups, older children, and children with severe medical needs.  We cannot adopt siblings, we are adamant on keeping the birth order of our children for several reasons, and the medical needs that are most often found on this list are out of the range of medical needs that we, as a family, can take on.

What does that mean? 

We may have to switch countries.

You may remember how we bounced all over the world before we finally landed on Colombia in a beautiful way.  In the months since then, I have dreamed about and prayed about a little Colombian boy who would be mine.  I have been caught creepily lovingly staring at precious little Hispanic toddlers wondering if my son would resemble him or would like the same activities.  

The good thing is, our country has adoption programs in 15 countries and as long as we stay with our agency, which we will, we will not lose any of the fees that we have already paid.  

While we haven't received clear direction from the Lord to leave the Colombia program, nor has our social worker advised us to do so, we have begun researching other programs within our agency.

Is this type of change normal in adoption? There is nothing "normal" in adoption - except that at the end of the long, winding, up and down, journey a family is finally complete.  Change happens a LOT in international adoption.  Countries suspend their programs for a while, they shut them down, dossiers are unexpectedly denied...it happens.  We knew it would happen when we started.

To say that this doesn't hurt my heart a little would be a lie.  I'm confused and I feel like we are wandering, again.  But I take comfort in knowing that I can "Trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not into my own understanding. In all of my ways I will acknowledge Him...and He will direct my path." Pro. 3

We will keep "Seeking first His kingdom...and all these things will be added to us." Matthew 6

With "Prayer and thanksgiving, we will present our requests to God...and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and minds." Phil. 4

We know that in all of the confusion and frustration and heartache, as we "pass through the waters, He will be with us; and when we pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over us. When we walk through the fire, we will not be burned; the flames will not set us ablaze." Isaiah 43

We know that Colombia was "our" plan a...and it still may be where our son is.  But we also know the Lord declares that "His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor are His ways our ways." (Isiah 55) and that He saw this coming from the very beginning...from the time He formed Jacob and I in our mother's womb, He knew the plans that He had for us and every single thing that they involved.

So here's what I want you to know:

You can trust in these truths, as well,....no matter what you are facing.  God wants you to be His, He wants to walk through the good, the bad, and the ugly in whatever journey you're on.  Ours is international adoption where nothing is certain, nothing concrete, nothing secure....except for the journey itself....it is certain, it is concrete, and it is securely held in the palm of His hands.  Our son, wherever He is, 

will be ours in God's time and in His way.

It's no coincidence that the song "Help me Find It" comes on the radio every. single. time. I have gotten into the car the past 2 weeks (I heart LifeSongs)  Here's the chorus:

"If there's a road I should walk, help me find it.

If there's a need to be still, give me peace for the moment.

Whatever Your will, whatever Your will.

Would you help me find it."

That is our prayer...that God would show us the road to follow, that He would show us that we need to be still and wait - granting us peace in the process, and that He would help us find His will ... whatever it is.

Road trip

We moved to Louisiana almost 7 years.  At leas twice a year Jacob would mention that he wanted to go back to Rayville, LA for a visit.  When his parents were in training to prepare for international missions, they lived in this small, quiet, charming little town for about a year and a half.  Jacob has so many memories jam-packed into his time there.  The past few weeks have been very up and down for us, so earlier last week we decided this past weekend was the perfect time for a little mini-roadtrip.  We left on Saturday and came home on Sunday night.  Here's a little recap....

We loaded up on easy snacks and lunches to have in the car...saved some major cash this way!

Loaded up and ready to go!

Jacob spent many hours of his 6th and 7th year of life playing in this water

This is the house they lived in....it's actually in a small community called Holly Ridge..like 1 blinking yellow light, kind of small community.  

The road that leads to a bridge that was another favorite hang-out of Jacob and his friend, Rusty

While one of my favorite parts of the trip was seeing a little piece of where Jacob grew up, the girls

were ecstatic to get to stay in a hotel....

One thing about Rayville, LA....it's 20 minutes from the Duck Commander!!

Sadly, no sightings of the bearded men that day ;(

Uncle Si has enjoyed many glasses of sweet

tea right here...as seen on Duck Dynasty!

I took this picture for my grandad...it's the Korean War Veterans Memorial Highway.

Thanks, Denden, for your service to this great country.

And this beautiful church is so full of love - many of them remembered Jacob, his sister, and parents, still pray for them, and were super excited to see him and his family.  They welcomed us all as if we were there to stay! If you're ever passing through Rayville, LA - I highly suggest visiting FBC Rayville :)

Providing, Moving On, & Advocating

Providing...

He funds what He favors.

  

I really wish I'd come up with that phrase.  Our home study social worker told it to me first, she'd read it on another adoptive dad's blog.  Basically, if God wants you to do something, He's going to make a way, He's going to provide - all He asks is obedience from us and He'll do the rest!  He loves children.  He repeatedly tells us to take care of orphans in His Word.  So...if He wants a family to adopt a precious, orphaned child...why would He not provide a way for that to happen? I just wanted to show you how much He has provided for our adoption over the past 6 months:

 Donations: $4,270

Adoption T-Shirts: $1,750

Adoption Cookbooks: $2,005

Adoption Yard Sale: $1,485

Jamberry Nails: $1,550

Other (overtime opportunities, piano lessons, tax returns): $4,000+

Total: $15,060

This total combined with what we started with means WE ARE ALMOST THERE! It's been so incredibly amazing watching God do all of this...trust me, it hasn't been anything we've done or are doing - it's ALL HIM!!

We're now ready to start applying for adoption grants. Please join us in prayer as we start this portion of our journey.  There are a lot of families out there who will apply for these grants every month.  The men and women involved in these various ministries have a great task before them each time they meet to review, pray over, and decide who will be awarded one of their precious grants.  Please pray for them as they make their decisions - whether it is to award a grant to our family or another family.  We know that God will provide the remaining funds in the perfect amount of time in His perfect way!!

*Note: We still have a few t-shirts and cookbooks available. If you'd like one, comment below, Facebook me, or email me at jmalcoleman@gmail.com!

Moving On...

Our home study was recently completed and finalized - on my birthday to be exact!! Now, we are compiling our dossier (a fancy word for "a stack of papers we send overseas") and waiting on our immigration approval (the US says it's okay for us to adopt a child from overseas).

Each country has different requirements for a families dossier and ours is not quite as intense as others.  It will include our home study, psyc evals, medical clearances, birth certificates, marriage certificates, employment letters, name change verification letter (for me), FBI and state criminal background checks, passport photos, and 10 color photos showing our little boy a glimpse into the family he'll be joining once we are matched with him (I'm really excited/nervous about this one - it makes it so real, but I want it to be perfect for his first glimpse of us!!) Each of these items have to be notarized, sent to our agency, apostilled (I have no idea??) and then forwarded to Colombia - where it will be translated.

Advocating...

And now for some exciting news!!  Our social worker, Beth, called last week to update me on our case. She had just gotten out of a staff meeting which included our in-country rep/attorney, Raul.  I've never met Raul, but he's one of my favorite people because of all the work he's done and will do on our family's behalf. Anyway - Raul had just reviewed our files and our child desired form (still working on that post, y'all...it's just hard and it stinks).  He loves our file and the parameters we have set for the child we are able to adopt!! Now that we are home study approved, he's going to start actively advocating for our family in Colombia - meaning he's going to keep our family's name and file out there and really look for children that match our parameters!!

Beth was quick to assure me that this didn't mean our process would go any faster or be any quicker - nothing can really determine the time line of an adoption because, well, we're not Jesus.  But it's so exciting to know that they are finally able to actively work on our behalf to seek out, find, and connect us with our son!!!

Please pray for Raul and the many families that he serves in this capacity and especially for our little boy who may very well be waiting for us right now.

That's about all for now on the adoption front - thanks so much for continuing to check on us, support us, and - most importantly - pray for us!!!  We really can't tell you how much it means to us!

Have a Happy Weekend!

Smile for the Camera

We recently had family pictures made.  This might have been the best round of pictures. EVER!! Our friend Maggi, of Maggie Moreau Photography, did mini-sessions to raise money for an upcoming mission trip she is going on later this year.  Awesome photographer + amazing family pics + mission funding = PERFECT PHOTO SESSION in my book!! Go check her out if you're in the Slidell area.  She also did Creek's one year pictures - she's so awesome!!!!  Anyway, here are some of my favorites from the sessions - we booked 2: 1 for family pictures in our adoption t-shirts and 1 for the kiddos...it was perfection!!

It WAS For Sale!!

We just had our THIRD big fundraiser...a yard sale!! This was probably the hardest fundraiser ever, but SO MUCH FUN!!!  Lot's of pictures in this post....they tend to tell it better than words, sometimes....

 

This beautiful, young lady is my Nana.  She's pretty much amazing - for lots of reasons - but for the purposes of this post and fund raiser...whoa, did she work hard! She cleaned in her kitchen what I'd sorted, let me compoletelly takeover use her garage, carport, dining room table, and spare bed to keep stuff as it was cleaned and sorted.  Then, she and my Denden (that's granddaddy for some of you) opened up their driveway and yard for one amazing fundraiser.  I cannot thank her enough...really, I can't do it.  She's just so awesome.  I want to live like her when I'm as young as she is :)

 

 

Next up is one of my 2 cashiers.  This is my baby sister (the pretty one with the long, brown hair - boys, I'll cut you if you mess with her) and she not only manned the money bucket and bag all day, she got up at 5:15 to go help my dad and I set up.  I'll probably owe her for that one for a long time.

 

 

These guys provided lots of muscle leading up to the yard sale.  We'd asked for donations from our Tennessee church family and they helped us go around a couple of nights before a load stuff up.  And they did it all for a Sonic milkshake...at half price.

 

 

It was pretty cool how God took this small pile from my family and turned it into this...

 

 

and this...

 

 

and this...

 

 

 

This is not an accurate representation of what these 2 did at the sale.  That's my uncle on the left and my little sister on the right.  She was my other cashier for the second half of the day (boys - same rule applies for her, too).  My uncle and my dad helped load stuff throughout the day and carry bags and items to people's cars.  They earned a little late-afternoon nap.

 

 

 

On the left is my aunt, then my dad, and on the right is my uncle.  My aunt and uncle got up at 4 am and drove 3 hours from Nashville.  They brought stuff for the sale, worked their tails off all day, and bought stuff, too.  My dad....wow...I can never say enough about him or give the most accurate description of him.  He spent his entire birthday watching my kiddos so I could finish stuff up, helped me round up donations most days after work, got up super early on his day off to help set up, work hard, and try to scare off the creepers at the the yard sale.  He's always been awesome in my book.

 

 

 

 

This blank section is where I should insert a picture of my mom and kids since she took care of them all day long....believe me, I know that's not an easy task.  Especially considering the yard sale fell on the absolute busiest 2 weeks for her at work....for the whole year!! Thanks for being a team player, mom :) You're the best!  Sorry I apparently didn't snap a picture when ya'll stopped by :(

 

 

 

All in all, the yard sale was a blast!! It was hard work collecting donations, sorting through and cleaning them...but it was also just as wonderful to see God blessing this fundraiser through so many people.  The first item that sold was my favorite chair...a pompesan chair that I'd waited years for.  I cried when the man drove off with it in his truck.  Oh well, it was just a chair, right?!!

 

My original goal for this fundraiser was $1,000...lofty goal for a yard sale, right? At the first of the week, I tried to reevaluate and set a more realistic goal based on what I had and lowered it (in my mind) to $500...still a nice fundraiser!!  God completely blew me out of the water when I counted up the final amount.  Originally, I'd posted on facebook that God had provided $1,250, but then I came across an apparent mystery/secret donation, coupled with a more precise recount.  The "new" grand total is $1,485!!  Almost 3 times as much as I what I "thought" was a realistic expectation for a yard sale.  And the whole thing was put together in 5 days!!

 

So incredible. Fantastically, amazingly, INCREDIBLE!!

 

And God continues to provide in exceptional ways.  He fund what He favors, y'all.  He really does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Simple Multiplication

Hey, y'all!! I hope you've been well - sorry it's been a few weeks since I updated!!  The past several weeks of our adoption can be summed up with one seemingly simple word: paperwork.  Yeah, it's a boring update, but it is what it is!  Some if it has been exciting paperwork, though!!

We recently filled out our I-800A and it is ready to be sent to the USCIS (US Citizens and Immigration Services) office as soon as our home study is approved....which should be done this week!! The I-800A is this really long application that we send in, with our home study, to the US government to seek approval to adopt a child from overseas.  We received pre-approval so we can proceed with the adoption, then final approval once we have been matched with a child.  Our home study has to accompany this form, but our social worker had us go ahead and fill it out so as soon as she gets our home study in her hands...she will drop all of that in the mail to USCIS.  Once she does that, and we wait on fingerprinting dates and approval from them, we'll start working on our dossier - which is our stack of paperwork that will go to Colombia, where it will be reviewed by Colombian officials, and we will receive approval from them to adopt from their country. Simple, right? Yes!! Sometimes I wonder, though, how all of this "needing approval" business is affecting my self-esteem!

Another piece of paperwork we had to complete was our child desired form.  That's something that requires an entire post of its own...too many emotions on my heart to give it a quick paragraph here, so stay tuned.

On the other hand, I've also had a few more freak out moments here and there.  They happen.  They come.  I breathe. I pray.  They go away.  It repeats.  Worrying is a fault of mine - stress something that can easily take me over when I feel things are out of my control.  And adoption is so very far out of my control.  Good thing, though, because God IS in control!

We have our next big fundraiser coming up and I've been nervous about it.  We're having a yard sale at my grandparents house this weekend.  We've been pulling stuff from our house and sending it up with my parents as they've visited us in Louisiana the past several months, pulled everything we have stored at their house and my husband's grandparents house, and we've graciously been given donations by our Tennessee church family - some of which I'm about to go pick up! 

Yesterday, though - I was worried.  Praise God - a friend who is using the same agency as we are had a yard sale this past weekend.  Guess how much they raised?  $5,000 dollars!! Yes, 5 thousand. 5K. a 5 with three 0's! How amazing is that! When I read her news, I was immediately overcome with joy for their sweet family - knowing they are so much closer to their little girl.  I thanked Jesus for providing so abundantly for them.  And then the "thoughts" came...

What if our yard sale is a bust?

 

We'll never raise that kind of money!

 

I can't do this!

 

This will be hard!

 

How are we going to make a decent amount of money with this fundraiser...and it's supposed to be a big one for us?!

 

How are we EVER going to reach our total goal for this adoption?!

 

What will happen to our son?!

And on and on and on the thoughts and questions rolled.

And then that still, small, Voice of peace reminded me...

"Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanmks and broke them.  then he gave them to the disciples to distribute to the people." Luke 9:16 (for the entire miracle, see Luke 9:1-17)

He fed 5,000 people with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread.  And the people who sought after Him were fulfilled.  They were satisfied.  They had leftovers.  They not only had full bellies, they had full hearts, too.  He simply multiplied what was brought forth and given completely over to Him.  And as He whispered to my heart the miracle that I sat and listened to time and time again as a child, I knew.  I remembered...it's not about me.  It's not about my family.  It's not about what we or I can do.  It's not about us.  It's about Him.  It's about seeking Him and making Him known and striving to see Him exalted and glorified in all that we do.

I have no idea how much this fundraiser will bring in.  I know that He has provided so much more than I could have imagined to this point.  But more than that, I know that I want Him to be made known in every step of this adoption - the paperwork, the fundraisers, the blog updates.  All of it.  So whether we bring in $50 or $5,000 - I will praise Him because He is the One who gave it all.